Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
