New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
