it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
