He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize