Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
