Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
