I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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