he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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