If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize