The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
