Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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