plz talk dirty to me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
