it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
