it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
