Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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