Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
