i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
