i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
handjob tips. give me some.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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