He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
