Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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