So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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