jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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