Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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