I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
