its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
