he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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