North Korea, Best Korea!
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
