this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
