if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
