Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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