You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
