: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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