I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
