I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize