after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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