you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
