It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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