Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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