my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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