Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
