my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
