I wish my penis had an off switch
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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