There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
After last night, I could never be a politician.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
