i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
