he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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