K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
