I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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