I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
