Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
