You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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