Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
