quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
