I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
