I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
