She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
