so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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