So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
