honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
