we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dignity is for republicans.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Randomize
