I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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