Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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